


Retrouvailles

by phobo



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Friendship/Love, Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mild Sexual Content, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-05-02 18:59:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5260010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phobo/pseuds/phobo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot and Amethyst have bonded over the past few months. Peridot isn't sure what to make of their complex relationship, but she knows she cares deeply for the purple gem, although her suspicions about Amethyst's motives seem to be slowly driving her away. When Lapis Lazuli is finally found by the gems, she is noticeably taken with Peridot. Will Peridot stay loyal to Amethyst, or will she allow herself to bond with Lapis?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. La Douleur Exquise

“You got this, Peri!” Amethyst snorted. Her gaze was pasted to the dartboard with Pearl’s face on it, which was propped up against the fridge. This was not the first time they were doing this—Pearl’s face looked like it had already been stabbed through one too many times. The green gem was steadying her hand, staring intently at the board with one eye closed. With a flick of the wrist, the dart that was once in her grasp was now jabbed through the center of dartboard-Pearl’s gem.

“I have achieved ultimate supremacy! Bow down to your rightful leader!” Peridot shouted to no one in particular, jumping up on the couch in triumph.

“Oh man, that was intense!” Amethyst managed to say through her uncontrollable snickering. She jumped up next to her friend and tackled her to the ground. They hit the wood floor with a resounding thud.

“Agh, Amethyst! You—” Peridot bit her tongue when she noticed the purple gem was now resting on top of her, shooting her a devilish grin. Their faces were so close that Peridot could smell her warm, sugary chocolate breath. She wasn’t particularly sure if she liked the smell, but she knew she liked Amethyst.

“You’re pretty good at that! Maybe Opal could teach you a thing or two about working a bow and arrow—you know, so you’re more useful to the team!” Amethyst attempted to muffle her laughter—what was so funny, anyway?—but Peridot wasn’t amused.

“You know very well that I’m not a warrior. I have a very distinct skill set. In order to be of any use to you _clods_ , I need my limb enhancers. We’ve been through this before.”

Amethyst pushed off of Peridot to get up and stretch for a moment. “Yeah, yeah, I know! I told you I’ll try and find them! I’ll bring it up to Pearl and Garnet soon, I swear!”

Peridot got up from the floor and dusted herself off. “I’m _sure_.”

The gems’ attention was suddenly drawn to the activation of the warp pad, revealing Pearl and Garnet, who seemed to be returning from a mission.

“Amethyst! We need to—” Pearl stopped short when she looked over at the tattered-looking face on the dartboard. “—go...” Her emphasis on the last word made it sound like a question. Garnet pushed past her dumbfounded cohort and walked over to the two smaller gems.

“We have reason to believe that Lapis and Jasper’s fusion may be in close proximity to Mask Island. If we can contain them, we’ll be able to focus all of our attention on stopping the Cluster.”

Amethyst nodded her head in acknowledgment and turned to Peridot. “Hey, let Steven know where we went, ‘kay? Don’t wait up, you _clod_.” She stuck out her index finger and jokingly poked the green gem’s visor. Peridot always tensed up when she did that. Maybe it was because it made her gem feel vulnerable. Maybe it was because it made _her_ feel vulnerable.

In a flash, the three Crystal Gems were gone. 

But the bitter feeling in her core refused to dissipate. 

Peridot always knew that Amethyst wasn’t like the other Crystal Gems. Amethyst was a real warrior, which was why Peridot was so captivated by her in the first place. On a planet of misfit gems, she was the only one who held significance. She was almost perfect. 

Not only that, but her personality was so pleasantly unsophisticated—it was unlike anything Peridot had ever experienced. Through the time they’d spent in close contiguity, she’d found that they’re actually quite similar. Shockingly enough, Amethyst had come to the same conclusion and was inordinately taken with the green gem—or so it seemed, anyway.

Amethyst was always laughing at her jokes. She always wanted to spend time with her. For the most part, she made Peridot feel good.

But sometimes she made her feel worthless. Paltry. She did it in a way that no other gem could. It was her subtle gestures and changes in the tone of her voice. It was her vacant, offhanded stare. It was the way she’d laugh at her when nothing was funny. All these things made Peridot feel as though their friendship was just a game to her. It made her feel like nothing.

The worst part was that this should have infuriated her, but it didn’t. She hadn’t the strength to be upset with Amethyst. She could only feel defeated. She did nothing to interfere with this pattern of torment.

Peridot’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Steven running up the beach house steps and slamming the door behind him.

The smaller half-gem quickly looked around the room, then sighed in frustration. “Oh jeez, did I miss them again?!”

“I’m afraid so. They’re actually out looking for Jasper and Lazuli. They have some idea of where they might be.”

Steven’s eyes lit up at the sound of Lapis’ name. “Seriously?! I really hope they find them this time! I need to see Lapis; I need to thank her for everything she’s done for me!”

Peridot gave him a questioning glance. “Everything she’s _done_ for you? Explain.” They both walked over and took a seat on the couch while Steven raked his brain for the most important details about the situation.

“Well, she’s sacrificed everything for me by fusing with Jasper. She did it so that Jasper couldn’t hurt me. But I feel like I wasn’t the only reason she did it...” His voice trailed off.

Peridot raised her eyebrow at him inquisitively. “You’ll have to explain that, too. I don’t get it.”

“When I let her out of the mirror she was trapped in, she was so happy. But when she went back home, I could tell she was really upset. Homeworld wasn’t the same as she remembered it. She feels lost. She doesn’t have a home anymore… So she saved me. Because she felt like she had nothing else to live for.”

“So she’s given up her life, her _freedom_ , for you? Like some sort of self-righteous altruist? How foolish.” Peridot clearly didn’t understand the focus of Steven’s ideas.

“She’s not foolish, Peridot. She’s really smart, and she’s super strong and brave! I just wish she knew she _does_ have a home—it’s here at the temple!” Steven’s eyes twinkled with wonder.

Peridot almost choked on her own spit when she heard his last statement. “Are you joking? You’ve actually decided to let her join you Crystal Clods? That’s a _major_ miscalculation.”

“Well, Lapis never tried to kill me or kidnap me… So having her here is a lot less dangerous than having you here, right?”

The green gem contemplated this for a moment. Although she deeply regretted her previous actions against Steven and the Crystal Gems, he had a point. “I suppose you’re right.”

“And besides,” Steven continued, “it’ll be good for you to apologize to Lapis! Maybe you guys could even become friends!!”

Peridot stifled her almost immediate laughter. “Ha, oh yes, I’m sure Lazuli and I will become the _best_ of friends.”


	2. Coup De Foudre

“I can’t find them anywhere! Amethyst, did you check the west side of the island?” Pearl was now pacing back and forth with her chin in her hand. They had been searching for about an hour, and considering how small the island was, it seemed as though they were never going to find them. 

With all of the time they’d been spending at the barn recently, Pearl was given an opportunity to tinker with some of the gadgets she found while the other gems gathered supplies for the drill. She was able to create a device that measures unnatural instability in any given environment. When Pearl and Garnet brought the device to Mask Island, the meter’s readings went off the charts. The readings hadn’t fluctuated, but there was no signs of Jasper or Lapis.

“Yeah, I looked. Maybe they’re still underwater,” Amethyst claimed, walking over with her hands behind her head. 

Garnet came up shortly after her. “Amethyst has a point. Right now our only options are to wait it out or go underwater and start searching.”

“Alright, well I personally think waiting for them would be the best course of action. This way, we can conserve our energy. We may have to fight.” Pearl summoned her spear in preparation. Garnet simply nodded and sunk down onto the forest floor.

“Yeah, Garnet!” Amethyst plopped down next to her teammate and motioned for Pearl to sit next to her. “Come on, Pearl! It’s not like we have anything better to do!”

Pearl took a deep breath and sighed. “I suppose…” She stabbed her spear into the ground and sat down. “Well, what are we going to do for the time being?”

“Let’s talk about Peridot.” Garnet said, tilting her head towards Amethyst.

Amethyst’s face felt hot with embarrassment. “What are you looking at _me_ for?!”

“Well, you _have_ been spending quite a bit of time with her. Has she told you anything we need to know about?” Pearl leaned in questioningly.

“How about you mind your own damn business, Pearl?! Who cares how much I hang out with her? She’s actually cool, unlike you!” Amethyst stood up and looked down upon Pearl’s seated figure.

Pearl was about to counter Amethyst’s statement, but she was cut off by Garnet. “Have you fused?”

Both Pearl and Amethyst were at full attention. “Have I… have I what?” Amethyst’s voice was shaking.

“Have you fused? With Peridot?”

Amethyst’s rage was pushed to the back of her mind by the nervousness that she was now drowning in. She couldn’t speak. She was afraid the uncertainty in her voice would give her away.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to say a word. The conversation was interrupted by a soft, tortured cry coming from the north side of the island. The gems quickly dismissed their interrogation, shot up and sprinted towards the sound.

With weapons raised, they emerged from the forest and approached the coastline with caution. There appeared to be a petite, blue figure washing up onto the shore.

“Is that… Lapis?” Amethyst’s jaw dropped. Lapis seemed to have gone unconscious, and Jasper was nowhere to be found. Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl hurried over to the blue gem.

Pearl knelt down next to her and took her in her arms. “Well, her gem isn’t cracked. It’s only a matter of time before she—” In an instant, Lapis’ physical body was gone and her gemstone rested neatly in Pearl’s palm. “—recedes.”

Amethyst and Garnet sat down next to the lanky gem. “Do you think she’s gonna take awhile? She’s probably needed to do this for a long time.” Amethyst looked at the gemstone with concern.

“I can’t tell when she’s going to regenerate, but I think we should wait here as long as we can. We don’t want her to regenerate at the temple; it would be dangerous. She may be apprehensive. We want her to trust us.” Garnet stood up and fixed her sunglasses.

“Garnet… are you saying that we’re going to make her part of the team?” Pearl tightened her grip on the gem.

“That decision is completely up to her. But she saved Steven. She cares about him. I don’t care how she feels about us, but if she’ll risk her life to protect Steven… that’s the kind of gem I want on our team.”

Pearl smiled and nodded at her in agreement. “I understand.”

Amethyst didn’t say anything. She felt strange. There was something daunting about Lapis’ gem. It wasn’t just because she was dangerous—no, it was something else. Looking at the gem was like looking through a door into the future, like a premonition. She felt cold and alone and her breath caught in her throat.

But she tried her hardest to ignore these feelings and refrain from telling the gems. After all, their preoccupation with Lapis had lead them to forget about the conversation from earlier.

● ● ●

“Ugh, it’s been like 4 hours! Where are they?!” Steven exasperated, eyes glued to the credits rolling on the TV screen. The two gems had just finished watching Dogcopter 3 and Steven was getting antsy.

“Who knows? Maybe they were killed by the fusion,” Peridot voiced with disinterest as she rolled over on the bed.

Steven’s eyes widened in horror. “No way! They couldn’t have been killed… right?” The credits stopped rolling and a black screen took it’s place. “Right… Peridot?”

“Well, it is a possibility. I don’t see why else they would be taking so long,” Peridot said matter-of-factly.

Steven scooted closer to Peridot in hopes of being comforted. “Do you think they need help? Maybe I should go check up on them…”

Peridot sat up straight and looked him dead in the eye. “Steven, that would be the most illogical thing to do right now. If you’re going to go searching for them, don’t do it yet. The fusion might still be on the island.”

“But what if they need me? If they’re about to get killed and I could have done something to stop it, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!” Steven hopped off the bed and started to walk down the stairs. “You don’t have to come with me.”

“Wait, Steven!” He felt a hand on his shoulder. Peridot’s voice was shaky. “Don’t go yet! I’m telling you—”

“I can’t wait, Peridot. I need to go.” Steven brushed her hand away and continued to head down the stairs. She followed.

“Steven! You can’t—not now!” She refuse to cease her pleading, but he ignored her.

Once they were in front of the warp pad, a ray of white light suddenly flooded in, as if it was activating on cue. Both gems jumped up at the disturbance and took a few steps back, staring at the warp stream in wonder.

The light diminished as the three Crystal Gems appeared before them. There were no signs of injury and there were no other gems with them—at least, that’s what it looked like until Pearl revealed what was in her hands. It was a blue, teardrop-shaped gem.

“Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl… LAPIS!” Steven gushed as he tried to ignore the wetness that was now prevailing over his eyesight.

“Yes, this is her,” Pearl hesitated, a weak smile finding its way onto her lips. “We wanted to stay on Mask Island until she regenerated, but it was taking far too long. And we couldn’t find Jasper anywhere.”

“Oh, so _that’s_ why you clods took forever to get here.” Peridot sneered at the gems in front of her. “Do you mind if I take a look at it? I may be able to figure out a way to artificially speed up the regeneration process.” She extended her hand to Pearl.

Pearl gave her a befuddled glance. “You… you think so? Oh, well, um… alright, if you really want to try.” Pearl quickly looked over the gem in her hands before passing it to Peridot.

The moment Peridot’s palm met the polished surface of the blue gem, she felt an unanticipated wave of electricity pass through her. She almost jumped at the sensation. She felt a warm glow begin to emanate from her forehead, as well as from the gem in her palm. She looked down at the blue gem, startled and wide-eyed—it’s radiance was almost blinding. She rarely ever got to see a gem reform, and she had to admit, it was quite beautiful. 

She was so caught up in watching the reformation, she almost forgot _who_ this gem was. It was a gem who was forced into being her prisoner, who did not seem like the type to forgive very easily, who had _very_ good reasons to want to destroy her. If she had her limb enhancers, she would be significantly less worried, but this was not the case. Lapis was powerful; she held all the cards. Peridot felt like nothing for the second time today. She trembled. 

Lapis’ figure became clearer with every passing millisecond. Once her body was free from the dazzling light, she gracefully floated down, eyes closed. Her landing was not nearly as graceful as her descent, but she steadied herself nonetheless.

Her dark blue eyes fluttered open and unmistakably landed on Peridot. The rest of the gems stood and watched the encounter in unnerved anticipation. 

Lapis simply stood and stared at the smaller gem in front of her. Peridot expected some sort of response out of her—surprise, anger, pain, _something_ —but her gaze was devoid of any emotion.

“You...” Lapis’ voice was cold and menacing and her hands were balled into fists against her sides. Peridot tensed up at the sound and the action.

“Lazuli…” Peridot’s voice quivered. She sounded as if she was ready to beg for her life. She looked down to avoid Lapis’ vacant gaze. Her mouth was dry and her eyes were wet. “I-I’m sorry…”

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but she knew it had to be something bad. She supposed she deserved some sort of retribution for what she’d done to Lapis. Peridot would be the first to admit she could have provided her informant with a greater quality of kindness and respect. Now, she was deeply regretting the way she treated her.

Before Peridot could delve further into retrospect, she felt herself being enveloped by two soft, delicate arms. She could see light blue skin in her peripherals, she could feel soft hair on her cheek, and she swore she could feel her gem heating up again.

She stood completely still. She did not look up. She did not put her arms around Lapis Lazuli. She was feeling too many conflicting emotions to do anything.

Steven, Garnet and Pearl looked to each other. They were perplexed, yet relieved.

Amethyst’s eyes did not leave Lapis for a second. She was beginning to understand why she felt as though the blue gem was a bad omen. It was Mask Island all over again. There was a knot in her stomach. She felt alone.


	3. Reculer Pour Mieux Sauter

“Log date: 7142. It has been approximately 20 Earth hours since my informant, Lapis Lazuli, has taken refuge at the Crystal Gem’s base of operations. She has been brought up to date on the Cluster and the drill project. Her actions towards me have been quite… _interesting_ , to say the least. Further research will be required in order truly understand her intentions.” Peridot pressed the red button on her tape recorder and slumped down into the bathtub. She had originally migrated from the bathroom to the living room sofa, but since she wasn’t much of a sleeper, she decided to give the couch to Lapis. Peridot made sure to keep a watchful eye on her the night before, frequently peeking out the bathroom door to see what she was doing. Thankfully, Lapis slept through the entire night, allowing Peridot’s paranoia to come to an end by the morning. She didn’t mind wasting the whole night watching her sleep, though. She looked peaceful.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Steven’s soft tapping on the bathroom door. “Hey, Peridot! Could I use the bathroom for a second?”

Peridot huffed loudly enough for him to hear it. “If you must.” She opened the door, stepped out of her “bedroom” and allowed him clearance. 

“Thanks!” He beamed up at her as he shut the door behind him.

Peridot turned away from the door and walked out into the living room, surprised to find Lapis Lazuli poised neatly in the middle of the couch, immersing herself in a large-looking novel. She somehow forgot that the water gem was now staying with them.

Lapis looked up from the text and graced the smaller gem with her gaze. “Hi, Peridot.” There was a hint of weakness in her voice. She gestured toward the empty space next to her. “Have a seat.”

Peridot grumbled to herself for a moment, but walked over and settled next to the water gem nonetheless. “Um… Lazuli—”

“Please, call me Lapis.” She was now snuggled up on the couch, leaning into Peridot and giving her her full attention. It made the green gem rather uncomfortable.

“Uh, okay… _Lapis_.” Her voice grew jagged as she tried to establish some distance between them. “I have a couple of questions for you.”

Lapis only leaned in further. A small, placid smile took its place on her soft lips. “Anything.”

Why was she being so nonchalant about this? More importantly, why was she being so _friendly_ towards Peridot? Each word that left her mouth had the green gem feeling more and more confused.

“How are you so… _relaxed_ around these Crystal Clods? They imprisoned you for thousands of years! How could you possibly trust them now?”

Lapis’ smile receded. “To be honest, I’ve been too weak to care. I’ve been through so much. What could possibly happen to me that could be worse than what I’ve already endured? Anyway, the gems seem like they’re okay. There’s no way they could be as bad as Homeworld… or Jasper…”

“—And another thing!” Peridot could feel her body heating up. “Have you no hostility towards me?!”

The blue gem’s eyes lit up for a split second and the smile returned to her face. “None,” she replied simply.

Not only was Peridot confused, but now she was borderline infuriated. “HOW?! How is that possible? You were my prisoner. You were treated like dirt. How can you act so… _cordial_ with me?!”

Lapis considered the question for a moment. She took in a deep breath and averted her eyes.

“They’ve abandoned you, haven’t they?”

Peridot froze; her fury subsided. She looked down at her hands. They were shaking.

“...So it seems.”

Lapis looked back to the gem sitting beside her. “When I regenerated, I saw you. I felt you… You feel desperate, sad, hopeless… You’ve been weakened and you have nowhere to go… You’ve been abandoned. You no longer have a place to call home—and now, neither do I.” Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes. “I wanted to go home. Now, home means nothing… We both have nothing. We’re both alone… You’re the only one who could possibly understand…”

Peridot, who was now enraptured by Lapis’ mellifluence, suddenly felt a warm hand covering her own. She looked down; a fuzzy blending of greens and blues encompassed her vision. Was she crying? She turned her focus back to Lapis and watched as a single tear fell from her chin.

“That’s why… I want to be your friend.”

Peridot’s breathing was cut off and her eyes almost popped out of her head. She drew back from the water gem. That statement made her feel nervous for some reason.

Before either gem could say another word, the slamming of the screen door and a vociferous shout demanded their attention.

“HEY, PERIDOT!” Amethyst paraded into the housing, making a scene as usual. “You’ve gotta check this out! We found a ton of high-quality gem dust back at the Kindergarten. We might be able to use it as an energy source for the drill, but we need your help!”

Peridot quickly wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and turned back to Lapis. “Excuse me… Lapis. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you.” She hopped off the couch and headed towards the front door.

Lapis’ gaze followed the green gem. “Nice talking to you.” She picked up her book and started reading from where she left off.

Once the two smaller gems were outside, Amethyst spoke up. “So uh, what was _that_ about?” Her question sounded like a lighthearted joke.

“Oh, nothing. We were just reminiscing about Homeworld,” she lied. “She said she wants to be my friend.” Well, that part wasn’t a lie.

Amethyst snickered, snorting a few times as she did so. “Oh man, that’s hilarious!”

Peridot pursed her lips and a slight blush formed on her cheeks. “Why is that hilarious? Am I unlikeable?”

Amethyst continued to laugh. “No, no, that’s not it! It’s _dumb_ of her to try and be your friend. You’re _way_ too obsessed with me to hang out with anybody else!” She wrapped her arm around Peridot’s shoulders.

The green gem’s blush became more obvious. “W-what?! Amethyst, that’s ridiculous!” She crossed her arms against her chest and glared at the purple gem.

Amethyst returned the gaze, but not before playfully planting a hard, wet kiss on the shorter gem’s cheek. In that moment, Peridot’s breath hitched in her throat. She quickly turned her head away from Amethyst, trying her hardest to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Her cheek felt like it was on fire and the blush radiated through her entire face. She faced down, staring at the ground in front of her. Amethyst had only ever kissed her once before, and that kiss hadn’t been _nearly_ as suggestive as this one.

By this time, Amethyst had taken her arm away from her friend and was now standing in front of her with a smug smirk on her face.

“ _Sure_ it is, Peri!” She purred sarcastically.


	4. Un Monde Inconnu

“Am I doing this right?” Pearl pointed to her work inside the control panel on the drill. Her question was directed to Peridot, who was advising Pearl from her perch on top of the apparatus.

“Yeah, now you just have to hook up the power source and you’ll be good,” she spoke with disinterest in her voice. The last thing she wanted to do was think about the drill; her mind was in turmoil over the thought of Lapis Lazuli. She wasn’t quite sure if she could trust her yet, but Lapis’ pure, endearing nature made her want to try. She could tell that Lapis had good intentions. Her actions towards Peridot were nothing but genuine, which made the situation all the more confusing. Lapis told her why she was being so nice, but it still didn’t add up. Thinking about it made her head hurt.

Aside from Pearl's fiddling, the scene was dead silent. Peridot had to admit, the countryside was beautiful. It was like no other place in Beach City and she enjoyed it thoroughly, although its aesthetics showed no relevant purpose. She missed Homeworld dearly, but she was starting to realize that Earth wasn't too bad either.

"Alright, well if you think you can manage the rest on your own, I'm gonna go take a walk," Peridot conveyed, as she slid down the length of the drill.

"That's fine, you can go home if you'd like. I need to stay here and wait for Garnet. She’s bringing over some spare parts. We’ll meet you back at the temple later.” Pearl did not look up from her work.

Peridot didn't bother permitting a response to the taller gem. She simply stepped between the gap in the fence and kept walking towards the horizon, in the opposite direction of the temple.

● ● ●

“So… what were they doing, exactly?” Steven stopped rummaging through the pile of junk in the back of the barn to look up at Amethyst, who was leaning against an old fridge.

“I don’t know,” she started in a hushed voice, “but they were sitting, like, really close to each other. It looked like they were crying or something.”

Steven tilted his head in confusion. “So, what’s wrong with that? Maybe Lapis was opening up to her. Maybe they’re becoming friends!”

Amethyst shot him a resentful glare. “What’s _wrong_ with that? Are you _kidding_ me? Just in case you didn’t get the memo, Steven: Peridot is _my_ friend!”

The young boy looked upon the purple gem with concern. “Uh… she can have other friends, Amethyst. You know that, right..?”

“Yeah, I get it… but what if Lapis, I don’t know, steals her from me? What if they become best friends and Peridot just forgets about me?” Amethyst averted her gaze from the half-gem in front of her and looked down at the shabby floorboards.

“Hmm…” Steven put a finger to his lips in a contemplative manner. “Well, maybe you should tell Peridot how you feel!”

The purple gem shuddered at this suggestion. “Are you crazy?! I can’t do that, Steven! I just can’t! I would feel so _stupid_.” She crossed her arms over her chest, signifying her refusal to compromise.

“But you’re not being stupid; I totally get what you’re saying!” Steven waited for a response from Amethyst, but she declined the invitation to speak. It seemed as though she wasn’t even listening anymore. Steven sighed, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to come up with the best solution.

“If you really feel like you can’t tell her, maybe you should just try to stay out of it. Peridot really cares about you and I don’t think she’d try to replace you. And anyway, Lapis probably needs someone to be there for her right now. Maybe since they’re both from Homeworld, Lapis felt like she could talk to her.”

Amethyst, neglecting to acknowledge Steven’s opinion, spoke up rather quickly. “It’s just that… Peridot doesn’t treat me the way everyone else does. She respects me… she acts like she _needs_ me. Up until now, I’ve taken it for granted. Now I feel like I’m gonna be pushed to the side. I want to feel… _special_. To someone.” She turned her head back up to face the half-gem, who was now brimming with enthusiasm.

“Aw, Amethyst! You’re special to me!” Steven stepped towards her and hugged her as tightly as he could. He looked up at her and offered up cheerful grin.

Amethyst chuckled apprehensively at the scene. “Oh, get off me, Steven! Peridot can’t see me like this! I need to look _especially_ cool in front of her now and you’re not doing me any favors!”

Steven broke away from the purple gem, but his contentment did not fade. He crouched down and picked up some cables he’d previously set aside. “Okay, okay! I have to go bring these spark plugs and wires to Pearl and Peridot, anyway.” He jogged out of the barn and waved to Amethyst. “Remember what we talked about!”

To be quite honest, Amethyst didn’t even remember what he said. She’d barely even heard him over her own thoughts.

Since Steven was highly trusted by both Amethyst and Peridot, he knew quite a lot about their relationship. Most times, he knew more about them than they knew about each other. The only aspect of their relationship that he was completely clueless about was the complexity of it.

On Homeworld, forming close bonds with other gems had always been seen as a defect. Peridot unlearned this teaching through Amethyst; she had become her first real friend. That being the case, Peridot had no real concept of friendship—she didn’t know how friends were supposed to behave or how they were supposed to treat each other, which made her easy to manipulate. Amethyst didn’t do it on purpose, of course, but it was just so easy. It became almost like a bad habit. 

Peridot had real feelings for Amethyst from the beginning. Amethyst unintentionally lead her to believe that the feeling was mutual, but in reality, it wasn’t. Needless to say, Amethyst liked Peridot, but her feelings didn’t run nearly as deep. Amethyst used her, in all aspects of the word, as a self-esteem booster. She wanted to feel loved, respected, powerful. 

Whenever they fused, which was rare, they would do it for different reasons. Peridot fused with Amethyst because she cared for her and wanted to feel close to her, even though she would be extremely reluctant to admit that the idea of fusion appealed to her. Amethyst, on the other hand, simply wanted to feel stronger. They would do everything Amethyst wanted to do, which usually had something to do with fighting. That was probably why Peridot would act so weird after fusing. Either way, it made Amethyst feel great. Peridot’s feelings never crossed her mind.

● ● ●

_'She wants to be friends.'_ At this point, Peridot was perched on the tallest hill in the countryside, staring out at the bluish sky. The sun was going to start setting soon, so the sky was a jumble of colors, but Peridot liked the blues the most. She didn't know exactly where she was, but she didn't need to. For some reason, she felt more calm not knowing where she was in an unknown land than being anywhere near her allies or the temple. This was the first time she's felt at peace since she arrived to Earth.

Even though her mind was cluttered with thoughts of the bewildering blue gem, somehow that made her feel better. Maybe Lapis was right. Maybe she didn't have to be alone after all.

The endless flow of thoughts and wants and questions in her mind ceased for the first time in two days when she heard the gentle flutter of wings behind her. The shadow of an angel began to tower over her and she gulped in anticipation. She knew exactly who it was, but how on Earth did she find her?

"I like this place too. It's the highest point in the town and you can see all the colors of the sky."


End file.
